With the impending iPad 2 event, here is what to expect:

 

1. Hyper-Retna Screen, forget the Retna screen, this screen will make all human flesh look lifelike and standard images look like degraded Polaroid pictures, that is what happens when you view uber low res assets on a hyper screen. Deal with it.

 

2. Modem, one thing Apple noticed is that regardless of how super portable their device is, users love to sit at a desk, with their laptop posture and docked keyboard, even though it was never meant to be operated in such a way. So version 2 will include an Ethernet port and a 56k adaptor for an additional £20. (£20 is a nominal fee for accounting purposes)

 

3. Superdrive with dock connector, because some times you want to listen to that Backstreet Boys CD and there isn't an internet connection on that long haul flight, viola- superdrive.

 

4. SD camera, front and back. So you can use FaceTime with iPhone and Mac users, a HD camera will follow early next year when they refresh the hardware prior to a secret iPad 3 launch.

 

5. Games Room 2, updated leader boards which tie in with XBOX Live, this will be announced at the end of the Key Note where Steve Ballmer will appear as a 3D holographic head behind Jobs.

 

6. Built in stand, orientation and slideshow statistics illustrate a very common use for the iPad is a digital photo frame, so Apple want to promote this use (£500 photo frame) and have integrated a weak floppy stand.

 

7. Multi Display, a built in external dock slot will allow you to attach another iPad 2, this lets you see one very wide application, there will probably be a hinge so you can fold it towards you in a cockpit fashion.

 

8. A touch-tone keypad on the reverse, these easy access keys will let you use 3G enabled iPad 2's as a mobile phone or Wi-Fi only versions as a VOIP phone, without launching a third party application.

 

9. Programmable RFID, it will let you clone your Oyster Card (Or what ever local travel card you have) so you can swipe this device when ever you board public transport, it'll also work for contact less micro payments.

 

10. Self destruct, a majority of users suggested that a remote wipe of data isn't enough if an iPad was stolen, now the same signal is used to send a signal to the smart batteries which results in a melt down.